Wedding Day Storyteller T-Shirts

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'He does.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

In Desperate Straits.

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

Speech

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

The Aisle

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'Swear on your unpublished novels that you will support each other's ridiculous dreams.'

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'