Weddding Humor Pillows

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'You may now kick the bride.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

Just married.

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

Trouble Ahead

"Man, I hate it when she sneaks up on me like that."

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"I knew they had shot gun weddings in the wild west, but not in Milton Keynes!"

'Yes he WILL do all that - I'll see to it!'

"....And are you willing to stand your mothers-in-laws' bleating until the divorce court do you apart?"

"I now pronounce you guilty."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"