Website Manager Gifts

"I'm constructing a website."

The little capitalist hen

'I and my Blog'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Project Manager Showdown

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

'We want people to see the human side of IT.'

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Hourglass Dumptruck

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe we should upgrade our computer system."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'