Webinar Wizard Gifts

'First webinar?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"We only got six days of funding."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

Targets.

Waiting for retirement.

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Gerald Ratner's return

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

Tech support...can I help you!

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

'First the good news.'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"