Web Design Gifts

'Yeah, very impressive - but can you improve my website's Search Engine Ranking?'

"Maybe now the damned search engines will find us."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

"Broadband...yeah, it's great, now our totally useless website loads even faster."

Web Content Management

'I was real visionary. I was a web designer before there was an internet.'

'We've re-branded.'

"Tidy up yer website, gov?"

"Mr. Frobisher has launched a fresh new interface."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'Besides delivering never-ending eternal suffering,how do you want to be portrayed to your customers?' - Web Design.

'A picture is usually worth a 1000 words, but on your mobile site it's worth 800 words.'

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

'I used to be a Zen Master, but I found I have more control as your Web Master!'

'That's responsive web design.'

'Website still under construction'

'I used to be a guru but I needed a real job so now I'm a WEBMASTER!'

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

'He's disappointed because he heard that site had a high bounce rate, so he thought it had a lot of cleavage.'

'This manual should help you navigate our site.'

'We're running into a problem every time we try to monitor the eye movement of visitors on your website.'

"What do I want to be when I grow up? See the FAQ page on my website."

"To be honest - I got this web design from a template."

"First, they take my domain, then they take my domain name."

Job Fair: Programmers, Web Designers, Hackers.

"What am I doing? Oh, web design, mostly... A little freelance illustration when I can find it."

Menu. Specials. Soups. Salads. Drinks. You can't call this an internet cafe just because you have pull-down menus.

"It's states CLEARLY on my website, I'm an evil clown."

"We're on the internet - it's a site for sore eyes!"

'Our Web design company had a financial reversal last month. We made money.'

Web designer.

'You could try changing your profile picture...'

'Have I ever shown you my collection of web patterns?'

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

'You do good web design, but there's not a lot of variety in it.'