Wearable Tech Fan Gifts

'And this wearable smartwatch sends a text to my wearable smartglasses to let me know when I'm not wearing any pants.'

"And this measures the frequency and intensity of my farts."

When it came to wearable technology, Nigel had always considered himself an early adopter.

"Oh, he says he's a Mensa, but take away his smartphone and smartwatch and he's just another dumb jerk."

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"No, I don't have to sneeze - I'm making a phone call."

'It's my new EyeWatch'

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was wearing a Fitbit?"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Cat Tie

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Diamond outfits

Time Machine Collision

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

All dressed up and no place to go

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'This reminds me...what generation iPhone are you?'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"It appears you have a virus."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

Sugar Machine

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

Joe's Tuxedos

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

The 39 Steps

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."