Wearable Tech Fan Pillows

When it came to wearable technology, Nigel had always considered himself an early adopter.

"Oh, he says he's a Mensa, but take away his smartphone and smartwatch and he's just another dumb jerk."

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"No, I don't have to sneeze - I'm making a phone call."

'It's my new EyeWatch'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Cat Tie

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Time Machine Collision

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Diamond outfits

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"It appears you have a virus."

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

Joe's Tuxedos

Sugar Machine

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

'The breakfast meeting, can you spot the deliberate mistake'

"...and if I press this button..."

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

"Err... Excuse me Sir, you've forgotten the user manual for your super mini mobile."

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

"Next bench is four steps."

"It's context aware, so it can tap your wrist when you're about to put your foot in your mouth."