Wealthy Wonderer Gifts

"I said, with these new tax breaks, we'll be able to buy more leaves for the table."

"He left you ten million each. Goodness knows what he did with the bulk of it!"

'But what is the universe for?'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

God's studio assistants

"Baldo, check it out...it's advice for people who've won the lottery."

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

Word Of God

Archeologists found a set of 9.7-million-year-old teeth in Germany that might belong to a primitive relative of early man. Totally unrelated question: Are you missing any teeth, Sadie. That's funny. Speaking of which, there are many ways a person could lose teeth. Threats of violence aren't funny in 2018. That's like a rule. A good pummeling never hurt anyone.

Taxes

'I'm retiring because my doctor advised me to slow down and spend my money.'

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

'I've got a large disposable income.'

"Is this an upturn or another calm before the storm?"

Very best ATM's.

'Untitled #82? You mean there are 81 more like this. Was he trying to get it just right?'

I intended to be a bum, but family connections and inherited wealth got in the way.

Poet and Peasant

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

Are you crazy? ... You make 10 million dollars a year and you want to know the meaning of life?

"I guess I want what everyone wants - a billion dollars for being a jerk."

'It was his last wish.' (Dollar sign head stone.)

'We feel that as it matures, it will start yielding higher denominations.'

"I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets."

"That one's six figures plus tax."

"As we zoom out, out, out, we begin to see our amazing universe in all its dangerous glory."

FAQs. Why is the sky blue? Why do I have to eat my peas? But why? Pt.1. But why? Pt. 2.

'Just explain to me how a multimillionaire can be in a 15% tax bracket...'