Wealthy Wannabe Mugs

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"I know it's silly, but I always pictured rich men as fat little people."

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

Tonight's Topic. How To Make a Killing In The Stock Market. I made a killing in the market once, but the only casualty was my investment.

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

King and Queen with real estate agent view castle for sale: 'My wife likes it, but she wants to know if you have the same thing in purple.'

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

Warren Buffett

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

House building chart (like steps).

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"I want to be a footballer's wife."

Are you crazy? ... You make 10 million dollars a year and you want to know the meaning of life?

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

"I understand he's compensating for having been left out of the stock option programme."

Mu$k

"I guess I want what everyone wants - a billion dollars for being a jerk."

"Kevin brags that he day trades on Wall Street, but his ringtone is still Sesame Street."

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

'Arthur Fogle here, pretending to be the next Warren Buffett.'

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'

'So like, loan dude, isn't it O.K. to get the actual icea for the kind of e-business we'd like to start after you lend us the $50 million?'

My husband's dynamic, aggressive executive material, but he's too shy to say so!

I subsequently discovered that launching a hostile takeover of a bank has a very poor riskreturn trade-off.

'If you're so smart, how come you never invest any of your own money?'