Wannabe Financial Tycoon Mugs

'Arthur Fogle here, pretending to be the next Warren Buffett.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

Investment advice from father to son:"Learn to walk and then learn to invest. I'm depending on you to look after me when I grow old."

'We really like your suggested target of us becoming 'richer than God if God won the lottery'. Any idea how we might get there.'

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

Dispute over pocket money

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

House building chart (like steps).

'Simmons is our expert in oil stocks.'

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"I'm afraid the discovery of oil on your property will drive the price of your home down."

'Sales are really up now that the vacation months are here.'

Mu$k

"I understand he's compensating for having been left out of the stock option programme."

'But RG, you can't be a big fish in all the big ponds...you can only be a big fish in your big pond.'

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

'Nice 'power tie', professor.'

'So like, loan dude, isn't it O.K. to get the actual icea for the kind of e-business we'd like to start after you lend us the $50 million?'

My husband's dynamic, aggressive executive material, but he's too shy to say so!

I subsequently discovered that launching a hostile takeover of a bank has a very poor riskreturn trade-off.

'If you're so smart, how come you never invest any of your own money?'