Millionaire Wannabe Mugs

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

"I'm thinking this might e a good area to set up base camp."

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

Tonight's Topic. How To Make a Killing In The Stock Market. I made a killing in the market once, but the only casualty was my investment.

"Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, is a nerd!"

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

"Making an honest dollar's easy. Making an honest million, now that's tough."

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

Warren Buffett

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

House building chart (like steps).

"This morning, I looked into the mirror and said to myself, 'Bruce, you're a billionaire. It's time to stop horsing around and enjoy life a little.' "

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."

"I understand he's compensating for having been left out of the stock option programme."

Mu$k

Get rich quick scheme! $500-

"I think we'll begin with the gentleman on the end."

I've got it. It? The internet business that will conquer the world. My ship. My multi-billion-dollar idea. With a B. You want in. I have no idea what it is. Have you not learned from past internet booms?! Invest first, ask questions later! I'm in.

'Cromwell, you remind me of myself at your age... only richer.'

"I'd feel a lot better if I had $41,568,946 in my checking account."

"Up next we interview the big lottery winner, but first, let's tamp down your envy and greed by looking all the lives totally devastated by winning the lottery."

'Yeah, I misplaced my winning Lottery ticket. I'm always losing things. I've lost my Oscar, my Nobel Peace Prize, my chunk of moon rock, my collection of four leaf clover's...'

'Arthur Fogle here, pretending to be the next Warren Buffett.'

'I intend to make a million. But I need to first borrow a million.'

"Kevin brags that he day trades on Wall Street, but his ringtone is still Sesame Street."

'I'd like a joint account with a millionaire please.'