Wax Whisperer T-Shirts

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Jack of all trades

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

The Worm Charmer

Critisize your weight.

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

Bassoons.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'I could eat you.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"I think I blew the promotion when I started doing some personal hygiene grooming during the interview."

"Sure, it's been a tough quarter, but somehow we always land on our feet."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'Where are you going?'

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Cat Lover's Leap.

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'