Water Sprinkler Strategist Gifts

'Please make it rain on the garden but not the lawn.'

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Storm'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

If we reproduce fast enough, we'll outnumber everybody and take over the petri dish! Divide and conquer, eh?

'C'mon, it's only up to your knees!'

A misery of mole hills

'We've had to pool our resources.'

'Is it labor day already?'

Overheated office where a member of staff is suffering from high temperatures

'Our company's philosophy is thus. Our idealists develop ideas. Internal realists then turn these ideas into products. Finally, external realists devise pretexts for consumers to buy these products.'

"I love your novelty lawn sprinkler."

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.

"She's not fast . . . but she gets you there."

'As part of our growth strategy we intend to build 76% more of them...as soon as we find out what they do!'

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

"Get me the coast.

April Showers

"I took 30 showers today, so I'm good for the month."

Cartoonist's tax return

"I think you want Koreans advice"

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence down and set free the first turkey he sees."

Dumping waste into a toilet.

'You'll get wet. Why don't you use your new umbrella?'

'...I just take the Hide-a-Meter bush, toss it over the meter, and voila! Free unlimited parking!'

"Don't get him talking unless you want to hear all about the Laffer Curve."

Production of food