Water Bill Strategist Gifts

Cartoonist's tax return

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

"It's trickle down."

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

The eco club asks you to stop drinking wasteful bottled water. May I tell the club the football team's reaction? 8 17 6. They got a kick out of our suggestion!

Water shortage and waste due to leaks

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'Will this prescription interact with the meds already in my drinking water?'

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'

'What? You just drank that whole bucket! You still have one full hump, you filthy swine!'

'We've had to pool our resources.'

"It was a professional hit..."

Flower steals water during a drought.

A man has wind turbines in his bath

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

'Keep your money - fix the water.'

Two men trout fishing

High electricity consumption in the summer

Your showers are breaking us. Between the cost of water, the gas to heat the water, and all your towels, you might as well go to a spa. Do you have any suggestions? Give me a minute. Emily? Want to come to the spa with me?

Own a piece of history - floodwaters

'Darn! No cup!'

"Frankly, I think that using precious water to grow flowers is a real waste..."

"This batch tastes funny. Better boil it."

The ironic thing is they still call us freshwater fish.

Energy bills rise

'I know it's a constant drain of electricity, but I rationalize that it also functions as a night light.'

The Three Waterwise Men

Water needs filtration.

"This fish was from the wild and apparently something was wrong with the water... you should have added microplastics, some waste oil, and industrial effluent."

Stopping people from talking about environmental concerns.

Confound it - doesn't anybody want to taste it?

'I wouldn't wash my food in there if I were you mister: It's downstream from the sewage plant...'

Child's 'bottled water' stand.