Watching Shows Pillows

'Sorry, we couldn't pry the remote from his fingers.'

'Is that true? - Did you tape over her soap opera?'

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'

"Don't stop, we're binge watching."

Girl on couch considers channel-hopping to be a sport

"These are my parents, the bingers. Mom binges on shows, and dad on food."

'What's on? I've seen this. It's a repeat...I hate watching repeats, it makes me feel like I'm wasting my life...So what else is on?'

'To her, reality TV is bigger than life.'

Woman on TV says: 'Remember, you can download the best bits of this show as a video podcast, if you really have no life.'

'We've got a 50 inch hd lcd 3d t.v with 200 channels and there's nothing on.'

"There they all are again..."

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'

"Just watching old stuff from 2019."

Battle of the Television

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"They grow up so fast."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Television Readers.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Lazy Octopus

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."