Watching Olympics Gifts

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man! Where have you been? I've been training for going to Grape Britain for the London Summer Olympus! What events are you in? Lots of trap and field ... the high girdles, long chumpg, shot foot, the 100-meter splint ... And I'll top if off with the 26-mile telethon. I expect to muddle in every event! That would be my prediction, too, M-Man.

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

350 Feet.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.