Watching Mystery Shows Gifts

"It's a popular size - much bigger and you won't get the body in the trunk."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

Doughnut Criminals

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."