Mystery Shows Gifts

"Over here, doofus."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Benedict Cumberbatch

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

University Soapflakes

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'There's nothing on.'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

$1: Family Secrets

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

TV jester.

"I said slime."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Time Machine Collision

TV-Man

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."