Watching Health Documentaries Gifts

Scientists have confirmed that caffeine is either good or bad for you

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

Crocodile

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Science and Coronavirus

"Welcome to Mars. We assume you're all up to date on your vaccinations?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"But what's my motivation?"

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

"Ok, don't move. I want to capture the drama and intrigue of your life."

3rd Wave

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

Steve Irwin.

Sicko.

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

Rain Forest Filmcrew

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'There's something wrong here. You have all these risk factors, and yet you're in excellent health.'

"Of course it's a rerun...it's a history channel."