Food Documentaries Gifts

"God, I'll never eat another hot dog again after seeing how they're made!"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Live Stream

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Crocodile

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

Police film evidence

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Cinéma Vérité

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

A penguin's life is like endless summer camp, swimming and fishing all day every day!

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

A typical Monday. Zombie truck driving maniacs! South Pole penguin love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent, zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

Bake off: Flan B

"But what's my motivation?"

GM Crops Genie.

Poor vs Rich

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

A fly on the wall documentary.