Watching Basketball Gifts

How much time is left? Eight minutes? Shelly consults her basketball-time-to-real-time conversion chart.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Church for sports worshipers.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Pete Sampras

350 Feet.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Salmon Run

Gary turns 40.

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Putting Practice.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'Let's go over our secret play.'