Watching Baseball Gifts

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

The thrill of sliding safely into third on astroturf...the agony of your pants not doing it with you.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"They grow up so fast."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Church for sports worshipers.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'Einsteiners.'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Television Readers.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I AM at my usual position."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Lazy Octopus

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."