Washing Machine Wizard Pillows

Laughing when someone shrinks there favorite shirt only makes matters worse.

"We only got six days of funding."

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Lovely dovetail."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

Targets.

Waiting for retirement.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Dustbin monster.

Dad's Workbench

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

"Stinking politicians and their dirty laundry!" "That's Bob. He's watching 'CSPIN', again."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

'McWit, did you forget to pay the gravity bill this month again?'

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

Woodwork

'I hope this is not a reflection on the staff, but the management has asked me to dumb it down.'

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

We built your beds, planted, mulched and set up your watering system. Nice work! Here's your check. Thanks! I love gardening. Me, too!

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

Woman searches for a book on 'Zoom Etiquette'.

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

Blue-Collar Workers

'I think the main reason you see the glass as half full and we see the glass as half empty is because you've been drinking.'

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."

Cleaning service on skates.