Wartime Humor Lovers Gifts

"She would fall into a soft spot."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"They're comfortable."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Unemotional Support Animal

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Stairlift around cliff face.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"She wishes to range free!"

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

How Amazon was invented

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."