War Time Wits Pillows

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Miss America IQ Pageant

Doggone

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Lovely dovetail."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

Paper Boy

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

Your Country Needs MOO!

'Always the wise guy.'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"