Wannabe Pundit Pillows

"Larry fancies himself as a Trump-ologist."

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

As Seen On TV

Audacity of Hope.

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

Wisdom for dummies

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Big government pig

'Nothing against you, Dad, but I'd rather be a POLITICAL pundit.'

'Who wants to play celebrity rant?'

The Fiscal Cliff.

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

'Save the NHS.' - 'Who from?'

A young boy shaving

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

"Welcome to your local polling place..."

'Ah, but when I made my campaign promises, I didn't say 'Simon says'!'

'Politics is getting so cynical!'

Trumpnado

'Tomorrow the candidate will deliver a major speech...'How to be honest in a dishonest age'...which he wrote himself instead of downloading from the Internet.'

Sean Hannity

What he really hoped to be someday was a TV news anchor.