Wannabe Ornithologist Gifts

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

Zoo animals.

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

The life of penguins.

"I belonged to the Audubon Society."

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

Bird plucking a cello

"Get a life!"

"Your ordering in French would have been more romantic if you didn't have to read it off your phone."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

Seagulls attacking Picnicker in Formation

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

"I'm a bird dog."

'Hang on, we'd better leave this one alone: It's a protected species...'

Big Bucks

Feeding the birds.

"When I say 'tweet' you say 'tweet'...'tweet!'"

"Jeffery, put that filthy thing down and wash up for dinner. And how many times have I told you not to squeeze him so tight? I swear, if you kill this one too you won't get another one."

'Still no takers, did it ever occur to you that they may not like the neighbourhood?'

"It's ok - you're not the first man to lose his head over a pretty girl. . ."

Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in educational programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never even opened.

Peckish Cat

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

Exotic Petting Zoo and A Dog.

"Of course it tastes terrible. It's a dung beetle."

"This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz."

'I thought the Indiana state bird was 'Larry'.'

"I don't get it! I put my hand up all the time, but the teacher just ignores me. . ."

Hunting opportunism.

'Why on earth would people put plastic flamingoes on their lawns?'

Bird of Pray.

Bird of the Day.

'Mom loves cats of all sizes. Wait until you meet tigger.'