Ornithology Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm going to need a paternity test on this one Vera.'

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

Bird of Pray.

"This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

Geese's Thoughts.

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

Espresso Martini Peacock

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

"What did you think was going to happen when you filled the feeder with lasagna?"

The last Passenger Pigeon

"You're sure it was a Northern Bobwhite?"