Ornithology Fan Gifts

'You're right, dear, they were bird noises you heard.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I love you too, big guy."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"Tallyho!"

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

Geese's Thoughts.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

Espresso Martini Peacock

Camping-Pong

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'