Amateur Ornithologist Gifts

"Of course it tastes terrible. It's a dung beetle."

"When I say 'tweet' you say 'tweet'...'tweet!'"

Big Bucks

Feeding the birds.

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

'Why on earth would people put plastic flamingoes on their lawns?'

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

Peckish Cat

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

Exciting potato bugs.

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

“If they were huggers like us they would have evolved useful arms.”

"I caught a snapping turtle. I hope you're not sitting on him."

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

Bird plucking a cello

"Would you like flies with that order?"

"He gives me the creeps. I Think it's love."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'Sorry I'm late.'

'I'm sorry my little Towser misbehaved himself.'

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

Toad a la mode: 'Hey! He keeps the flies off!'

Really? You don't mind if I ask her out?

I admit, this discovery does seem to support the asteroid theory.

'Music hall for insects'

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.