Angelic Ornithologist Gifts

"I belonged to the Audubon Society."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

Angel playing music

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

Angel in heaven walking a dog that is peeing off of a cloud

"Get a life!"

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'We sleep 18 hours a day, eat whenever we want and the rest is all free time. So what's the big difference up here?'

"If I knew I'd have to walk them for an eternity... I never would have owned so many goddamn dogs!"

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

Vegetarian Heaven

"It was bad enough learning to master the use of wings here but roller-blades must have been a nightmare!"

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

Death of the pope.

'This is as far as I can go. I was only playing dead.'

Ad Meeting With God.

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

"You again? I must be flying in circles."

'It's been way easier to keep track of everyone since the Air Miles program.'

"According to one of the reviews on Trip Adviser the beds aren't very good."