Wannabe Marathon Runner Gifts

"I don't understand, I've been thinking about running a marathon for years and it hasn't got me anywhere."

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

As Seen On TV

My First Boat

'Costume - What costume?'

Get a life

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."

"Your track coach expects a speedy recovery."

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

Snail Shoes

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

The Paula Ratcliffe: 'Think I might do the London Marathon next year.'

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

'Once the endorphins kick in, it's like Heaven.'

'In marathon terms, this is practically a tie.'

Runner thinking about sleeping.

In 'n out lung transplant.

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

"They're offering 18 months jail and a half-marathon."

The Island

TO BOLDLY GO where everyone else went (not all that long ago...)