Wannabe Economist Gifts

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

Tonight's Topic. How To Make a Killing In The Stock Market. I made a killing in the market once, but the only casualty was my investment.

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

"Well, Grandpa, I'd be just as happy if you put it all into musical bonds, and I could avoid all those endless tax burdens."

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'Since it's falling on me to help pay off the budget deficits when I grow up, I think you need to increase my allowance, Dad!'

'I went through the data and found an 11.7% increase in the discretionary spending portion of our family budget, so I see no reason not to raise my allowance.'

'How am I supposed to do my part in stimulating the economy if you won't raise my allowance?'

"I understand he's compensating for having been left out of the stock option programme."

"Could I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax."

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

"And I leave all my digital data to. . ."

Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in educational programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never even opened.

'Arthur Fogle here, pretending to be the next Warren Buffett.'

"Kevin brags that he day trades on Wall Street, but his ringtone is still Sesame Street."

Jeff discovered a new bank account where his money would always be safe.

'Nice 'power tie', professor.'

'I see this period of my life as excellent training for the cashless economy of the future I hear so much about!'

'So like, loan dude, isn't it O.K. to get the actual icea for the kind of e-business we'd like to start after you lend us the $50 million?'

'I've traveled all over the world looking for happiness and found it in my bank account.'

Exactly how much money do you owe this loanshark?

'If you're so smart, how come you never invest any of your own money?'

'The best way to learn the value of money is not to have any!'

The Island