Wannabe Boss Gifts

"Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy, but what I want is power of attorney!"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

House building chart (like steps).

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

'Arthur Fogle here, pretending to be the next Warren Buffett.'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

A young boy shaving

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

'Nice 'power tie', professor.'

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

After the cutbacks at flight simulator school. . .

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'