Wannabe Boss Gifts

"Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy, but what I want is power of attorney!"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

House building chart (like steps).

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

A young boy shaving

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Arthur Fogle here, pretending to be the next Warren Buffett.'

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

'Nice 'power tie', professor.'

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'

After the cutbacks at flight simulator school. . .