Wandering Gardener T-Shirts

'I'm thinking of planting flowers and putting a picket fence from my door out to the highway ... how would that be?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

Tree Passion

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Environment Friendly House.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Who's the new guy?'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'McWit never could build anything level.'

Welcome to Kew Gardens

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

Clown watering his flowers.

Why the sudden interest in Autumn?

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?