Wandering Gardener T-Shirts

'I'm thinking of planting flowers and putting a picket fence from my door out to the highway ... how would that be?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Tree Passion

Environment Friendly House.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

The Phantom Of The Garden

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Who's the new guy?'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Planting Bird Seed.

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'Some scout he is!'

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Welcome to Kew Gardens

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

"You make me feel 'hole'."

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Clown watering his flowers.

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'