Time-traveling Gardener T-Shirts

'Where's the starter?'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"We're following Carrot Top."

The Missing Sock Returns

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time Machine Collision

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Time for vacation, time for work.

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Early model of baggage claim"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I don't know who you are!"

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'