Wall Street Voguer Gifts

Vogue Trader

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Tempest in a Teapot

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Time to buy.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

Making money for investors is simple

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"Of course I'm depressed. Just once I'd like to be associated with an up stock market."

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

Wall Street Investing.

Pork Bellies.

...Shares can go up as well as down.

'Twenty-seven years in a row the women investors in this club have outperformed the men--talk about lucky streaks.'

Businessman on a Slippery Downward Slide.

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

A stripe of stockbrokers