Wall Renovation Aficionados Gifts

'Don't worry, I won't ruin your walls with a spray painter. I'll do it by hand.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'I found the termites!'

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Brickie's Mate

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

"Here's the weak point."

"I wanted to see if it made a picture."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"