Home Repair Aficionados Gifts

"I guess I found your problem, Miss Rapunzel."

"Did the plumber appreciate your advice?"

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"The blow drier is broken."

"Was it a fuse?"

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

'That'll be $50 plus $200 to repair the damage you made trying to fix it yourself.'

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Bathing and Showering.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

"Your sweaters go in the drawer, your shoes go on the shelf, and you go in this nifty cubby here."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"No, it's not a Rorscach test, it's a really nasty damp patch."

DIY store with a first aid department

I'd like to help, ma'am, but your dishwasher came with a "do not resuscitate" order.

'Well, no wonder -- you should have had it winterized.'

As icebergs form in the river, a man's house breaks up similarly