Interior Makeover Enthusiast Gifts

"I've changed my mind"

"The place was in need of a woman's touch – and so was Bob."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Painting the Ceiling

Fittd shēt

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Waiting Room Quarterly

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."