Wake-up Battle Veteran Pillows

Whack Your Alarm Clock

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Alarmistclock

"The president is awarding the Medal of Honor to 24 Army veterans...whose heroism and gallantry were overlooked because of their race or ethnicity."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"It had to go - there were historical links with slavery."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Buy him a pint and he'll tell you about the blitz, buy him three and he'll re-enact it"

Monument To The General/Soldier Monument

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

'I could have sworn I put the Waterloo battle plan in here.'

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

'I like waking to music!'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

Clearing up medals.

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

Remembering All The American Idols.

"Switch me on please..."

'This one is for not stirring up global tensions with anything I say in TV interviews.'

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

Sleeping man is being awakened by a wife playing on the trumpet

'That one's for being a very brave boy!'

Nancy Wake -French resistance fighter WW11

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

"You could say I'm a war veteran. I'm a retired junior high teacher."

Veteran using medals for an eye test.

World War II - Stalag 541 escape club reunion annual dinner.

"Your Stroganoff reminds me of my army days...spent in the Biological Weapons Corps."

For service to services...