Wages T-Shirts

That �10 rise you told me to keep quiet about - I found out everybody else got �20.

'Would you prefer your paycheck be sent directly to you oil dealer, your mortgage holder or health insurance provider?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Busy office.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Och lye the news'

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Casual Payday."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Mom, I got the raise. They moved me to the second floor."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"Look - we'll whistle when it's fifteen dollars an hour."

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."