Wager Wizard Gifts

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

"My paycheque this month is actually less than I made on the football pool."

-Trevor's nose is running! -All you think about is horses!

"10/1 says I lose the next bet."

"I thought you fancied the favourite."

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Dice Cubes

Your horse just came in!

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

'We've finally developed a hybrid slot machine-roulette wheel-sports book.'

I'm sorry, the pension fund was beaten by two lengths!

-What is 'horse sense' I wonder? -It's what stops horses from betting on people

'We don't take bets on non-finishers.'

'Excuse me, can I borrow your pin?'

-Are you working, hambone? -Of course I am, do you think picking winners is childs play?

'Are you a turf accountant. . . I want to know how much grass I need for my front garden.'

-Could you hurry please... I need it for the first race at Newmarket (at the bank loan desk).

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Profit

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'