Voucher Collector Pillows

"Yeah, doc, I'm under a lot of pressure! All these gift cards I've been carrying around forever expire today!"

"I'm taking me voucher and going to circus school."

Customer Service: 'I'd like to exchange this gift certificate for a larger size.'

'Sorry I was getting so many point vouchers I forgot the shopping.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Unusual Offers

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Economic Prosperity

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'