Volunteer Warrior Gifts

'Onward to the 'Big Society'...I see a more caring, sharing, inclusive world, a world of 'community' of..'

'Losing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...running your local community centre.'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

More people working in Voluntary sector than 2010.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

House vs. Senate

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Just Another Sloe News Day

Banting in the Yeomanry

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

Social security.

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

"Sorry, I'm only allowed to save humans, not refugees. Here in the EU we've got humanitarian values, you know?"

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

'We're looking for someone who would be comfortable toiling in obscurity for at least thirty years.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

The Last Dinner

"We seem to be the only animals here."

I'm a vegan triathlete

Two uses for ten minutes in America.

Thanks for the lift to the flower show. I support your volunteer efforts. They're lucky to have someone with your gardening experience. Hardly! Information. The ladies room is to the left, funnel cakes to the right.

"Watch yourself going up the high street. . . the election canvassers are out in force!"