Volunteer Extraordinaire Gifts

'When you've finished feeding your mum there's a triple by-pass in theatre we could use a hand with!'

STRIP *Community Care * Skilled volunteer

"So nice of you to offer to display our posters" "I didn't. My pastor made me"

'Fred just told me that he's going overseas to help distribute supplies to the flood victims.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

I drive, therefore I am.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Get well soon!

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

More people working in Voluntary sector than 2010.

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

"Maybe I'm too good a mentor."

'Onward to the 'Big Society'...I see a more caring, sharing, inclusive world, a world of 'community' of..'

"Apart from helping the community, making new friends, enjoying your experiences, supporting people in need, developing new skills, building a better community and having fun I can't see the point in volunteering!"

"And this dance represents our latest volunteer recruitment drive..." "I never thought I'd miss Powerpoint."

"So what attracted you to us?"

"I did not abort, and I deeply regret that every day!"

Man cutting his son out of his will and sending his valuable paintings to the blind asylum

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

"We reviewed your application and we'd like to hire it - not you."

The local flesh-spots

'Tommy, I think you're taking this hall monitoring job too seriously.'

'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the Voluntary Agency...and letting them fight it out was by FAR the cheapest...'

'I have always supported your volunteering to help the needy, but a cash donation is an entirely different matter...'

'Apparently we're to use the budget that's been cut to encourage the volunteers we haven't got because they've been put on schemes to fill in for services that no longer exist!'

'Mom, you're so popular! It was unanimous when I volunteered you to head the team fund raiser!'

"When it comes to giving to charity, I stop at nothing."

"Remember when they said we'd meet our food drive goal if everyone brought in two cans?"

'No, you don't get paid, but you don't pay us either!'

'Losing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...running your local community centre.'

'Voluntary work,,, I wouldn't do it if you paid me'