Volunteer Extraordinaire Gifts

'When you've finished feeding your mum there's a triple by-pass in theatre we could use a hand with!'

STRIP *Community Care * Skilled volunteer

"So nice of you to offer to display our posters" "I didn't. My pastor made me"

'Fred just told me that he's going overseas to help distribute supplies to the flood victims.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

I drive, therefore I am.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Get well soon!

More people working in Voluntary sector than 2010.

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

It's "Wolverines Without Borders" ... They want you to perform classic Fusco material in developing countries where people don't have access to the comics.

"Maybe I'm too good a mentor."

Thanks for the lift to the flower show. I support your volunteer efforts. They're lucky to have someone with your gardening experience. Hardly! Information. The ladies room is to the left, funnel cakes to the right.

'Thanks to these new rollers, you should donate a pint of blood in 14 seconds,'

'Onward to the 'Big Society'...I see a more caring, sharing, inclusive world, a world of 'community' of..'

"Apart from helping the community, making new friends, enjoying your experiences, supporting people in need, developing new skills, building a better community and having fun I can't see the point in volunteering!"

"And this dance represents our latest volunteer recruitment drive..." "I never thought I'd miss Powerpoint."

"So what attracted you to us?"

Man cutting his son out of his will and sending his valuable paintings to the blind asylum

"I did not abort, and I deeply regret that every day!"

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

The local flesh-spots

"We reviewed your application and we'd like to hire it - not you."

Volunteer Fire Dept. I know I'm not a Dalmatian - I'm a volunteer, too!

'It's all part of that 'Devolving Power'...'Big Society' thing...I got the nuclear attack codes and Bill down at the Rotary got Civil Defence.'

'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the Voluntary Agency...and letting them fight it out was by FAR the cheapest...'

'Tommy, I think you're taking this hall monitoring job too seriously.'

The Difference between Democrats and Republicans Equals Zero

'I have always supported your volunteering to help the needy, but a cash donation is an entirely different matter...'

'Mom, you're so popular! It was unanimous when I volunteered you to head the team fund raiser!'

'Apparently we're to use the budget that's been cut to encourage the volunteers we haven't got because they've been put on schemes to fill in for services that no longer exist!'

"Remember when they said we'd meet our food drive goal if everyone brought in two cans?"