Voice Recording Gifts

Walt's Computer & Electronics - Special 3 Hour Class: 'How not to babble while voice recording only $20.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

It's more than a mike!

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

Chorister's Loose Teeth

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

The producer of the nature sounds albums tries to organize a world tour.'

Morgan Freeman

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

Pay attention Mom. You're making the wolf and three little pigs sound the same.

"There's absolutely nothing to do. Wanna start a podcast?"

"That was a lovely poem Darling, but I suspect they're more interested in recording your singing..."

"I'm looking for a GPS with Morgan Freeman's voice. Maybe my husband will listen to it."

'This should guarantee our friends won't go to sleep watching videos of this trip.'

If you're going to wear a GoPro, Larry, you have to actually go.

Ernest Borgnine

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

Teacher complaning he can't understand pupil in his course on 'Voice projection and pronunciation'

"There it is again: some kind of weird disembodied voice describing our every move."

'Hoarse play.'

Women pro tennis players having a conversation