Vodka And Vino Enthusiasts Gifts

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Join me in a Martini?

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

Redhead

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

'I'm an atheist!'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

Wine taster with mineral water

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

Whiskey wars

Rabbit Punch

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.