Vodka And Vino Enthusiasts Gifts

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Join me in a Martini?

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'The King of what?'

Redhead

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'I'm an atheist!'

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

"We REALLY do get better with age."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Wine taster with mineral water

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Whiskey wars

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

Which Hogwarts house are you?

Rabbit Punch

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."