Vocal Humor Fans Pillows

Vocal Fry

Theatre Masks and Butts

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Raised by Dogs

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Hon, I'm home!'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Tequila Mockingbird

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

'Guess who's teething?'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Henry, cut that out.'

Sharp Eyes

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

Under New Mismanagement

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"What?!"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

Beer Lunch

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Make your own bottled water.