Vocal Humor Fans Pillows

Vocal Fry

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Raised by Dogs

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Hon, I'm home!'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

'Guess who's teething?'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

Sharp Eyes

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

Blues for now.

"What?!"

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Beer Lunch

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Under New Mismanagement