Musical Humor Fans Pillows

'Stay out of this Piano Man, I got no beef with you. But you - I don't like yer tone one bit.'

Sea Bass

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Mikado

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Raised by Dogs

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Hon, I'm home!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

The return of the four sheepskins

Note Book

'Guess who's teething?'

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

Musical Eye Test

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Henry, cut that out.'

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Blues for now.

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Under New Mismanagement

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Beer Lunch

Musical Note Nail

"What?!"

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting