Musical Humor Fans Pillows

'Stay out of this Piano Man, I got no beef with you. But you - I don't like yer tone one bit.'

Sea Bass

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Mikado

Raised by Dogs

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'Hon, I'm home!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

Tequila Mockingbird

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

Note Book

The return of the four sheepskins

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Henry, cut that out.'

Musical Eye Test

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"What?!"

Musical Note Nail

Beer Lunch

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Under New Mismanagement

Sawrd Fighting

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

"I hate when this happens."

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."